1 Corinthians 15:55

"O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory?"

I have been blessed, with a life that has been free of the deaths of close ones. The loss of my grandfather hit me hard, but prior to his passing, he was involved in a long fight against Alzheimer's disease. My family and I were slowly eased into the reality of the possibility of his passing, and when it finally happened, I was able to cope with his loss. During school, none of my close friends were involved in any serious car accidents, or any of the things that would plague the average American High School, and for this I am blessed... Truly blessed.

Today, I lost a great friend, a brother, and one of the most God fearing and loving people I have ever had the privilege to meet to a car accident. Never before has someone close to me been ripped from my life in such a manner, and it's a feeling unlike any I've experienced before.

My mind has just been racing backwards, hitting upon all the fun, tough, and rewarding experiences we've had together. The many trips to CO meetings with Col. Smith and others, the midnight yells where he and I would have to chaperon our juniors, the crush party he told me I had to join him at so that we may pick up dates to a Midnight yell, and finally the Star Wars marathon we were going to watch.

You start to think of all the things that you didn't do with the person that if given a second chance you would. Like the time I was walking back from my car to the dorm and he asked if I was open to start our SW marathon and I turned him down because I had to study for an exam. Times like these where you really want to hate yourself for saying no, but in reality realize the circumstances of the past.

But it wasn't simply just having the same job in the Corps of Cadets, or putting up with the troubles that came along with it that really makes this experience so tough. Taylor was unlike so many people I've known (good and bad), who profess to be strong in their faith. He openly professed his love for God, and lived his life accordingly. In the past few minutes, I have struggled to think of an instance of sin or unhappiness. Sure, we'd sit around and complain about the various trials and tribulations associated with our position in the Corps of Cadets or about other little things, but never, not once, did I hear him honestly profess unhappiness with someone / something going on in his life. Taylor would always be smiling, enjoying what life served him, and would make the best of it all, just like the good book always tells us to. For that, I admired him, and in many ways, wanted to be like him.

And lastly, if there was anything else Taylor taught me, it was that it doesn't matter what others thought of you as long as you were just being yourself. It's a fact of life that many people (myself included at times) feel the need to avoid talking about something, or acting a certain way just to fit in with the crowd. I can't think of a more honest person I've known than Taylor was. He was the kind of guy who would stand up for the weirdness in someone, or even better yet, take part in it. I always admired his creativity and ability to feel cool with himself in any situation.

While the saying "only the good die young" isn't entirely true all the time, I can't think of an instance where it doesn't apply more truthfully than the death of my friend. Taylor was the most genuine person I knew, and while earth and this life lost one of it's happiest, God has chosen to bless His faithful subjects in Heaven with the company of this great individual. I look forward to the day I will see Taylor again, he has been a great inspiration to us all, and has been a great force of positive change in my life. His passing will leave a void, but I'm sure he'd be happy to know that those he has touched will fight to fill it with the goodness he has brought out in all of us, and the memories of the fun times we've all shared with him.

He will be missed, and I will miss the positivity he always brought to me when times got hard. Heaven shines brighter with his presence.

Rest in Peace Taylor Gillespie.

(1/9/2011)