"These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold--though your faith is far more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honor on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world."
How great God is...
Have you ever had one of those weeks... You know.. one of THOSE weeks. The kind where you head through Monday with your feet dragging everywhere, head off to hockey practice and fall flat on your butt more times than you had every previous practice combined? (Just when you think you're getting it... Pride can be a BIG you know what sometimes) Then you have struggle through a Tuesday where you miss class for a career fair that failed to have anything jump out at you? Or a Wednesday where your Arabic class kicks your behind and you can't go to your Church's hopegroup because of a meeting... Or a Thursday where you got absolutely nothing done? Terrible how life can be that way huh?
Fear not... For if there is anything this week has shown me, it's that God is right there with ya the entire way.... And both of the T...day nights have shown me this.
I've long struggled with my position as the Commander of my Unit here in the Corps of Cadets, struggled with the big picture.. What is my purpose here... Enter Breakaway, Tuesday night. Ben (The guy who "leads" the lessons each week) talked a lot about love, but not the love you'll see in the movies that has the main character falling all over the woman of his dreams... No. It's that love a family feels for each other. He said two things that hit me so hard, it was like a punch in the gut... God showed me what my purpose is. He mentions that Paul and his fellow Christians and how they changed the world, how instead the community changed them, or the culture has changed them, they changed their environment, and finally how "these men turned the world upside down".
A group of men turning the world upside down... I dare you to look me in the eyes and say that doesn't sound awesome... (Especially you men out there... I don't think there's a single one of us who doesn't yearn for that team and that chance to do something great.)
Now, put that with his next point. He says, Paul: "I see that Jesus, who did that for me, who is willing to speak the truth... even though its hard... I want to live like Him and I see that He is calling people into eternity with Him and I don't want to just show up (with some minor achievements). I want to show up and say "By the grace of God through me I'm here...
and so are they.""
He then asked the senior and juniors as the older members to think about it... But I was already there... God has given me this chance to lead, so that I can be an example for all of my fish especially, but also for those in lower classes, to what a Christian leader is, and how Jesus would want me to act. It got me thinking further... Have I been carrying / acting this way thus far? Do my freshmen feel like they are in a family? Have I been the example that God would want me to be???
Perhaps. I feel like I've been a good example, I'm not one to come back from the Chicken or the hall rip-roarin' drunk messing with them in the night. I don't swear and I'm not vulgar... But have I been putting forth the effort towards representing the One who means more to me than anything deserves? I know it's impossible to be perfect, but I now have a new goal set before me, and I plan on working towards it, and not only within my outfit, but to those I've shown scorn in the past, or have blown off.
Skip forward to the other "T' day. Thursday... Today. I'd be lying to you in saying it's been stellar. But that's fine. I've gotten some work done today. But it was one of those grey days where nothing happens and you just live life and wait for Friday. Then bible study rolled around. Now to preface what happens, I need to inform y'all that these are the guys whom I found God through. They're the ones who helped me find my church and my spiritual self. I owe so much to them. But after a LONG week of trials and hard times, we go over 1 Peter 1. Basically we covered how there are trials we must all go through, but only because it shapes us up for the glorious awesomeness (that's a technical term... :D ) that comes for us in the afterlife. Suddenly the trials I am going through right now slip away as does the stress that accompanied them. To top it off, the buddy who I'd contribute the greatest part of my finding God those two long years ago made my week after the bible study with some awesome news. Needless to say... When I think of what Ben said earlier in the week, about having a team of guys that can turn the world upside down... I count myself along the lucky ones, for I have a group of buddies who are completely capable of doing so. Thank you God...
The last thing I'll talk about tonight is the big black cloud looming over any graduating seniors head as of late... And that's the job search. Never have I been more confused about where I want to go my entire life... First it was working for some national security something-or-rather. I've always loved my country, and to serve it in this capacity would be awesome. But I dunno, I find myself wondering if it would jive with my morals. I would hate to be overseas, working with someone from another culture towards the common good, only to get the answers my employers need and to pull out, leaving this person to fend for themselves once more. Now, I'm not saying this is how it all works, but needless to say there is that chance that something like this would happen, and I know for a fact I couldn't live with myself after that. So enter the State Dept. They look exciting. The prospect of International travel in a capacity that involves working with people of other cultures, being in the center of American support operations, etc etc. Then in my research I find that it is a "law" (a rule written in stone at least) that you are moved every 4 years so that you don't grow too attached to a country / group of people...
Grow too attached?? I want to live somewhere, where I can work towards bettering someplace, and get to know the community there. I don't want to half-way finish something just to leave because of some technicality. *sigh*
Enter USAID. Ever since Haiti last spring, it's been in the background of my mind, but has never been anything I've been serious about. But I tell you what, with each passing week where I can just feel myself finding my spiritual self, it becomes so much more attractive. I tell you what, after a week like this, it's #1. haha!!
International travel, helping the less fortunate, growing close to the community I'm working with, being assigned to areas that speak French or even Arabic so I can talk to these people in their own language, and serving God's will through helping others. What more can you ask for?
Now I just have to sit down and think about it and approach it from the standpoint I have everything else.... What's it like on a family? How often do they move people around? Etc.
I'm excited, about all of the jobs I'm looking at. I just find it funny how every time I get a new number one, something comes up that I don't like. So in reality they're all so very similar and I'd be lucky to get any of 'em. But it seems like I've found a new favorite.
And if there is anything I remember from that Haiti trip, it's that I only wished I could have stayed longer...
I'm excited for the future... :D
Keep it real y'all... God bless,
Neal
